Le Poop

So, this happened:

Don’t ask me why. We both know there’s something seriously wrong with me.

2012 Olympics

So basically my TV has been hijacked by the Olympics for the past few weeks, thus forcing me to have watched it during my free time, when I could have instead been watching that Justin Bieber movie or Teletubbies or horror films. Today is thankfully the closing ceremony, so this post is kinda like a tribute to the sports (and not-so-sports) I’ve watched this time around.

Archery. As far as I can remember, archery used to be about a bow, an arrow, and a target. Not arm guards and chest pads and finger straps and tripods and balancers and all that jazz. I didn’t even know what was going on half the time.

Canoe Slalom. So awesome! I never knew they even had this! My favourite part was when Ten thought they were all amputees or leg-less folk, and it was part of the Special Olympics.

Cycling – track. I never really watched this, Adam did. It was too boring for me. They were all just quickly pedaling around a raised oval. I did like the little grandpa referee though, who showed the racers the course for what seemed like an endless number of laps. Because an oval is just too complicated to figure out by oneself.

Diving. My favourite summer Olympic sport! I liked the little Chinese guy. The tiny one. The one who won everything. Wait, I’m not narrowing it down, let me research his name… Ah yes – Qui Bo.

Equestrian – jumping. Those horses were magnificent! I felt happy when they jumped over all those obstacles perfectly! I felt bad for that one horse who got scared at the big fence-in-the-bush and had to walk around it. I didn’t really notice the jockeys or riders or whatever horse-jumpers are called because they all looked the same in their silly little pants-suits.

Fencing. I still have no idea what this sport is about.

Gymnastics – artistic. This is the normal gymnastics. When I say normal, I mean uneven parallel bars, vault, beam, etc. Not that freaky rhythmic circus shit they do with balls and ribbons. Deng Linlin was my highlight! I also cried a little when Russia lost the lead because of that little midget girl falling and then the cocky one falling on her face at the end of their floor routines. Gymnastics is so emotional.

Shooting. I watched this for a few minutes, but then saw how quiet, sad, and dead-faced the sport was and turned it off.

Swimming. I only watched a little, but then when that freaky buck-toothed Lithuanian girl won something and started gnawing on her gold medal, I felt sick and never watched it again.

Synchronised swimming. I don’t know how those people can hold their breath that long and do strong underwater stuff while just treading the whole. fucking. time. Respect.

Taekwondo. Not even a real sport.

Weightlifting . I got all teary-eyed again when that Chinese guy won and that other Chinese guy was injured but still did good and that other Chinese guy dislocated his elbow. At least I think they were all Chinese. Also, the women scared the hell out of me. This one guy chick looked like a handsome man and this other one looked like an ugly overweight man. I saw many moustaches and uni-brows. It was a roller coaster of emotions.

And that was it. The other sports aren’t worthy of mentioning.

Now I’m excited for winter Olympics!

But hopefully I’ll post something before then.

Maybe.

Probably.

But possibly not.

Wwwwink!

I FOUND IT!

Yesss!! At long last, both my drawing tablet and pen have been found! It’s a miracle!

But now I don’t know what to do with them.

Animals and song lyrics

Yeah, the title pretty much says it all. Here are a couple drawings of animals and lyrics. Note: There will probs be more in the near future.

I really have no excuse

It saddens me to say this, but I have absolutely no excuse for not having blogged in three-and-a-half years (give or take 38 months). I was just over it. But now I’m back, hopefully! I think I just have to designate a fixed day and time for my beloved handful of fans.

To answer your question, no I will not update you on anything, because that in itself is like an entire encyclopedia. But instead, I’ll leave you with a loving message because I watched Where The Wild Things Are yesterday.

Sebastian Simba Smith

For those of you who don’t know, I’m on cat #6. Except this one is actually cute and not a homeless beggar cat from the streets. He’s like a Himalayan/Siamese and not obese at all *cough cough* BArt.

Anywho, so yesterday I took him to the vet for the very first time, to get him vaccinated, dewormed, and microchipped. At least that was the plan, anyway.

When our turn came up, we went into the examination room, and Sebastian politely sat on the table. He also had no problems sitting on the scale (2.5 kilos, what up!). He had no issue when the guy stuck a pill down his throat. He didn’t complain when he got the vaccine-filled syringe jabbed into his luscious coat. Everything was going well!

Then came the microchipping part. And let me just tell you, I’ve never actually seen the process of microchipping the other five cats before. So I kinda thought it’d go something like this:

 

But then what it was actually like was more like this:

And Sebastian thought it was… this:

I felt so bad for him! They couldn’t do it! The doctor and nurse even felt bad and held him and apologised profusely. But they explained that 20-some percent of cats won’t allow it, so in those cases, they just do it at another time, typically when they’re already under general anaesthesia.

Namely, ballsack removal day.

Adventure HQ

Yes hello. This is me trying to be bloggative. I’m going to share with you the story of when I recently died at Adventure HQ.*

On the day before Ten left, we decided to eat out. There’s this nice Italian place in Times Square, so we went there. Once we finished our meal, Said said he wanted to pass by this new adventure store on the ground floor. So we went.

By the way, side note: IT IS AWESOME. They have everything ranging from swimming gear to surf stuff to jetskis to winter wear to mountain bikes to ropes and cables to snowboards to fishing to hunting to you name it. They have everything adventure/sports/awesome related.

Anyway, so we went and looked around, and we noticed that they have a huge rock climbing wall, along with this obstacle course that runs around the ceiling of the mall. It looked so stupid and easy. From the bottom.

We decided to give it a try and oh. my. god.

I kid you not.

I pooped my pants at least eighteen times. Over the course of like twenty minutes. Because it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life:

First, you had to climb on this loggy thing. Simple enough.

Then, you had to climb on this tight rope with demon cables making your life miserable.

 

THEN, YOU HAD TO DO THE SCARIEST ONE OF THEM ALL. There’s four tyres hanging there and you have to cross them, but they move and they’re far apart and you’re 15 meters up in the air! I cried a little. I also started sweating fear. It was horrible.

Eventually, I crossed it and went on to the next level which was similar, but with like, swinging planks.

Then there were swinging logs. Like, who designed this thing? Why was everything swingy and unstable? A nice set of monkey bars would have been alright, but noooo. They had to petrify me to the point of paralysis.

Next was a normal-ish balance beam (except keep the height in mind).

Then came this big wobbly wooden-plank bridge.

And last, YOU HAD TO JUST JUMP ACROSS THIS GAPING RAVINE! Jumping two meters across when on the ground is one thing, but jumping two meters across when you’re at the verge of tickling the feet of the angels in heaven? Not so much.

So that was it. Oh, to come down, you had to go down this not-so-scary but completely irritating rope thing, but it like, attacked and strangled you the whole way down.

But the rock climbing part was fun and it made my arms hurt.

UPDATE: I went again with Adam, and the time it took me to complete the course cut down considerably, but I was still scared like whoa. Adam said I was a sissy little pansy, but I know he secretly peed himself a bit.

*You’re welcome, Adventure HQ, for the free advertising.