Archive for May, 2009

Where is my mind?

May 14, 2009

George W. Bush invited us over to a huge house party he was having at the White House. As he was giving us the grand tour, he was simultaneously lecturing all of us about how unhealthy cigarettes are.

I was in the cinema, and the previews were still going on. Suddenly I remembered that I forgot my sweater in the car, so I asked Omar for his keys and told him I’d be right back. As I was leaving the cinema, I remembered that the car was parked all the way on the opposite end of the mall, six floors down, and the elevators were out of order. So when I finally made it to the other end, I had to take the stairs. There, I found an injured puppy and decided to try and save him. But anytime I approached him, he’d run a few steps away, as if wanting me to follow him somewhere. So I did. He led me to this huge indoor waterfall, shed a single tear of happiness, and jumped to his death.

My mom and I had some business to do at Atlantis, and as we were leaving the hotel, I noticed that the sunset was outstandingly beautiful. So I told her to go ahead and I’d catch up after I took a few pictures. Standing at the pier, I was about to take the shot when this baby turtle crawled onto my foot and started crying. “Hey little fella, what’s wrong, hm? Why are you so sad?” I asked him as I was kneeling down to pick him up. With supernatural strength, he then proceeded to bite me in the ankle and fling me into this cavern full of bats. Laughing menacingly, he shouted from above me, “VICTORY IS MINE!” and then a seagull swooped down and ate him. Meanwhile, the bats were setting up for a party, and they were pretty cool with me. We played Twister, which was a little awkward. Because you know, they’re bats.

Omar and I were in some sort of old abandoned mansion, looking through the previous inhabitants’ forgotten possessions. One room was completely filled with all sorts of paper. Ancient Egyptian papyrus, chrome paper, kite paper, tissue paper, glassine paper, art paper, laser paper, recycled paper, newspaper, wallpaper... all kinds of paper!¬†Stored alphabetically in clearly labeled drawers. We stole a few sheets and then moved on to what seemed to be a makeup room slash walk-in closet. I took some Calvin Klein perfume and a really nice ring (I think it was made of ivory). Omar stole a really nice, old-fashioned, expensive watch and some black socks.

We were having an argument with our waitress at Starbucks, because she was an idiot. I had asked for black coffee, and she brought me black tea instead. So when I said, “Oh excuse me, I asked for coffee, not tea,” her response was, “Go to hell.” So naturally, I beat her up and then we were arguing about whether there were twelve rounds in a boxing match, or fifteen. To settle the dispute, I socked her in the neck. KO. Whammy!


The preceding series of dreams all took place within a half-hour time frame. Analysis? Incurable insanity.

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