Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I’m baaaack! *cue creepy music*

May 17, 2010

Yeah yeah yeah, give me a break okay? I have a life. Well, sort of. Actually, not really, but I was trying to make myself sound like the cool kid on the block. Anyway, I have several posts that I’ve been wanting to write but couldn’t find the time for, and now that the semester is over, I think I’ll go ahead and share them with you one at a time. So you can start being regular readers again, because I’ll be a regular blogger.


SMS snippets

February 19, 2010

Have you ever been so bored that you read through old SMS archives on your mobile? I have. And some of them are just too funny to keep to myself, so I thought I’d post them here for all the world to see. I think the fact that they’re out of context makes reading them even more humorous. But don’t worry, anonymity is a given.

  • Ok… This is gonna take longer than I anticipated. P.s remind me to evict/bomb atleast half the buildings in discovery gardens
  • Do you like Doritos?
  • I have 30 dhs. From our grandmother. She thinks thats enough to have a bitchin time in the worlds largest mall. Luckily i also have the equivilent of 90 dhs in egyptian pounds.
  • Ona Johnson… Get in ma belleh!
  • Whore whore WHORE!!!!! FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!
  • I have to go back to al quoz ind area at 11 so no time for sleep sleep, joy to the fuckin world! Anyways since I’m gonna be suffering today, I hope from deep down inside that u encounter manbearpig AND chucky today :) P.s they are real and I know for a fact that they prey on the brains of 21 year old german girls soooo ye… Have a great day!! :D
  • I am planning to get you 2012 for your birthday.
  • They just played her on the radio. My ears have been raped.
  • Lock the door dont forget!! Twice please. Otherwise black paw will get us! Bye
  • Munir lives… There is no God.
  • MY MUSIC VIDEO IS ON!!! It’s onnnnnnnnn omg why arent you here? Poop on you!

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this shit is funny. But then again, that’s all that really matters. Because no one cares about you. This is my fucking blog. Whammy!

In other, completely unrelated news, I haven’t changed my contacts since 2009 and my eyes are bleeding (I think). So there won’t be a real post today, only this one. Maybe a dream post in the near future. Depends on if I can function as soon as I wake up.


February 17, 2010

I’ve been in a very vintage mood recently. Whether it be my desktop background, my choice of music, or my style of clothing, everything seems to have an old-school twist to it these days. Could it be that I’m getting old?

Quick reminder slash update

January 6, 2010

Kay this doesn’t really count as a post, but I have some information and it is imperative that I share it with you:

I need a camera. Now, as you know, my birthday is coming up (and don’t worry, my birthday wishlist will soon be published) but if you would like to buy me one beforehand, please don’t hesitate to do so. In the very likely event that one of my fans purchases me one, I will create a new page dedicated to photography, for those of you who I don’t have on facebook.

That’s all! I have to go to my shit job now.

Lyrical Injustice.

February 22, 2009

I have just boarded a plane, without a pilot. Now I’m flying so high with the world down below. See the stars flirting ’round my vision, ’cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Does anybody know a way that a body could get away? 

Spin me round again, and rub my eyes – this can’t be happening… Trapped in this incomprehensible maze.

Heaven is overrated.

Technology is not my friend.

February 1, 2009

So my phone stopped working again. I really hate it when that happens. And it’s not like it just died and doesn’t work at all, rather, it’s possessed by some evil demon spirit. For example, I try to call one person, it calls someone else. I try to send a normal message like “What time do we have class?” and it transforms my words into “I’m going to eat your soul, muahaha!” I try to scroll down, it scrolls up. I try to put it on Silent mode, it puts it on Outdoor mode. 

So you’re probably thinking I should just use reverse psychology on it and do the opposite of what I actually want, but I tried that. It doesn’t work. It has a mind of its own, I swear! Last night at like three in the morning it just started vibrating. Thinking I was getting a call of grave importance, I actually bothered to leave my awesome dream and wake up to answer it. But when I looked at the screen, no one was calling. In fact, the screen was off and the keypad was locked. But it was still vibrating. For like an hour. 

I tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn’t. So finally, I hid it in the deepest, darkest part of my closet, underneath old, ugly clothes that I never wear anymore, and tried to go back to sleep. That plan worked… for a while.

At around five, my alarm started ringing. Why? I have no idea. First of all, I don’t set my alarm to anything before six. Secondly, I specifically didn’t turn it on that night and instead resorted to using a stock standard alarm clock (i.e. a clock whose only function is to tell time and ring when you tell it to. Remember those?). And lastly, my alarm at the moment is Paper Planes by M.I.A. and my phone was blasting Thriller by Michael Jackson, a song that I never even put onto my phone in the first place. 

So I wake up to a muted Thriller, coming from somewhere in my closet, which creeped me out even more. They’re out to get you, there’s demons closing in on every side… I was about to pee my pants. So I got up and rummaged through my closet to find my phone and switch it off. I found it, yeah. But it didn’t turn off. Red phone didn’t work, cancel didn’t work, stop didn’t work, snooze didn’t work, pressing and holding the power button didn’t work, nothing. So I opened up the back to take out the battery and finally! Silence. 

So I tried to go back to sleep again, but now I had the Thriller music video in my head, so it was kinda difficult. Because I could swear I heard zombies dancing in my room.

Anyway, I finally wake up to the sound of a normal alarm clock, take a shower, and go downstairs to feed Feb and Tommy. But then I remembered that the night before, Omar said he’d pick me up in the morning, so I kinda had to call him to make sure he was awake and stuff, because he has an eight thirty class. So I went back upstairs to get my phone, hoping that I wouldn’t have to exorcise it again. It turned on, made a weird hissing sound, turned off, turned itself back on again, flashed a few times, vibrated, and then looked normal. Hm. 

I took it downstairs with me and set it down in the kitchen while I went to the bathroom mirror to put on my makeup. Out of nowhere, the Nokia ringtone sounds, followed by a few beats of Paper Planes, and then the last few seconds of Thriller (which, if you know the song, is the creepy narrator guy’s evil laugh). I’m not even kidding. 

I go try to call Omar, and his phone rings but he doesn’t pick up. Then my phone switches off and on again, and the whole demonic saga continued so I just opened it and took out my sim card, looking for another body to put it in. I found Ten’s old phone, but it was like, seriously dead. I found another blue phone, but that one displayed some psychedelic images and alien noises when I tried turning it on. My grandma’s using the other spare, so I couldn’t take that one, and Ma needs her phone too, so I couldn’t take hers. Meaning the only option left was Ma’s old phone whose keys are missing and has a battery life of five minutes.

I took out the sim card, and put in mine, and then turned it on. It seemed to work perfectly, but then a whole bunch of Arabic flashed over the screen and I didn’t know what it meant, and then it went BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! and turned off. Whatever, at least it’s not playing devil music. So I charged it (Omar sent a message saying he’s on his way), and went to finish getting ready.

Then I was done. And bored. So I decided I wanted to check my facebook. I click on ignore, it accepts. Would I like to attend the event? No. You are now attending the event. Like, what? WHY IS EVERYTHING OPPOSITE?! And what the hell did I ever do to my phone (besides throwing it) and my computer (besides yelling at it) that I deserve such torture?! Surrriously. Finally I gave up with facebook. Gmail also didn’t let me do what I wanted to do, nor did MyUOWD. So I just threw my computer and my phone charger in my bag and went outside to get in the car with Omar.

And now magically, everything seems to be working fine. The only thing is, my phone isn’t telling time, instead it’s counting down to something. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a mass assembly of robots right now, counting down along with my phone. It’s at 03:17:38 right now, so we’ll see what happens at 00:00:00. The end of the world? Probably.

Header problems.

January 17, 2009

Ugh so just when I thought I was getting the hang of this thing, it turns out I’m not. Because according to my computer, I have a normal header with normal text. But when I wanted to show Ma my new blog on the computer she was using, it showed an ugly orange-on-orange header that almost made me puke. So now I don’t know if it’s just that computer, or if there’s something wrong with me and somewhere I forgot to update something. Laaaame.

%d bloggers like this: