Archive for April, 2009

Shower

April 22, 2009

I’m one of those people who hates getting up in the morning. In fact, if it were up to me, I’d probably never leave the comfort of my blanket. Except maybe to pee. Anyway, point is, it’s a daily battle for me to get out of bed. Especially when it’s finals season and the only thing I have to look forward to is studying.

That having been said, a morning shower is one of the most important things in my day-to-day life. Not only does it clean the body, mind and soul, but it’s also a rejuvenating and energizing ritual. Furthermore, I need to wash my hair every single day to keep it as luscious and beautiful as it is, and to ensure that I don’t smell like an ashtray.

A couple mornings ago, I woke up and groggily made my way into the bathroom. At this point, my eyes are still half-closed, and I haven’t quite yet left my dream realm, so I rely solely on the power of routine to get me through those first twenty minutes. Anyway, I peed, took of my pajamas, and stepped into the shower – same as always. I turned the hot faucet about a quarter turn to the left, and the cold faucet about half way. Based on experience, the faucets need to be in exactly this position to get the perfect temperature that my body requires. Which is quite hot. 

The next few steps are to let the water run for a few seconds, lift the thingy so the water switches from bathtub mode to shower mode, and then jump back with cat-like reflexes so that the initial shock of still-kinda-cold water doesn’t induce heart attack.

On this particular morning, I did everything the way I normally do. The only difference was, the water never became hot! And if there’s one thing I hate, it’s a cold shower. Especially first thing in the morning. Confused and shivering, I mentally retraced my steps to make sure I hadn’t missed a step. Turns out, I hadn’t. So what was going so god-awfully wrong? What had I done to deserve such punishment?!

Quick as a Chinese caterpillar, I jumped out of the shower and wrapped myself in my towel, in the hopes to prevent frostbite and/or hypothermia. What the fuck is going on? I wondered angrily.

Shall I tell you what the problem was? I’ll tell you. SOME RETARD DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TURN OFF THE FUCKING WATER HEATER! And I’m sure you can guess who that particular retard was. No, not Feb… Bingo. It was Eri. 

I punched the switch back on in anger and stomped back into my room to sulk under the covers. About twenty minutes later, I awaken to Eri’s voice, asking me if I could hurry up and shower so we could leave. “Yeah chill out, I’m awake… I’m just waiting for the water to heat up,” I told her. “Oh? Sorry, I turned it off again,” she replied. If I had sharp teeth and claws, I’d’ve pounced on her and killed her shamelessly with one bite to the neck. “You did what?!” I was fuming. “Oh yeah, now that it’s getting hot, the sun warms up the water enough to shower with.” Uh, no it doesn’t. Especially not at seven in the effing morning when the past twelve hours have been darkness. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I’m concerned, moonlight doesn’t heat shit up.

I restrained from killing her (only because I would have to wait another forty-five minutes before I could shower her blood off my body at a decent temperature), and instead turned the heater back on and went downstairs to make coffee. Later, I showered at a mediocre temperature and just got over it, thinking she’d understand never to do such a horrendous thing again.

I thought wrong. This morning I woke up at around six and carried out the shower-steps in order. Only to find that once again, the water was coming out in the form of icicles! What the fuck! Why is this nightmare happening again?! Murmuring unspeakable things under my breath, I turned the switch back on and crawled into bed.

When I felt it was safe, I got up and went to the bathroom to retest the water. It was barely alright, but I was in a rush so I had to deal with it. Fifteen minutes later, as I was leaving the bathroom, I found Eri loitering around the heater-switch. She was waiting for me to finish showering so she could turn it off again. Like, literally waiting there. Like… I can’t get over this… Waiting! Around the switch! Just… waiting!

What a freak. If she tries this stunt again tomorrow, I will not spare her. I will demolish her without the slightest shadow of remorse. But listen, if the police asks, I was at your house studying for my exam, okay? Shh…

 

Note: I’m not sure if Chinese caterpillars really exist or not, but they sound fast. Ninja fast. Ka-cha!

Introducing Eckie

April 16, 2009

Ugh. It’s that time of year again. The time when the weather starts to become excruciatingly hot, and finals roll around. Lame. I therefore haven’t had much computer time, and I’ve started slacking with my blog. Sorry. But once finals are over and everyone except for me leaves the country (as in, I won’t have a life), I’ll once again be permanently glued to my laptop.

In the meantime, all I have to offer you is a new Potty and Cracky episode. This time featuring Eckie! This comic was inspired by real events.

fart

The Shuffle

April 2, 2009

Wow, I’m on a roll today, huh? I just keep crankin’ out them posts! Anywho, here’s another Potty and Cracky episode.

gay-dance

She’s Chaos

April 2, 2009

The following is a short story taken from My Denouement, which I have chosen to adapt to image. However, I’m still in the rough-draft stages, and the final version will be done by hand in acrylic. It will also be more complex and incorporate several different scenes as well. Till then, enjoy!

The young cashier was gathering carts in the grocery store parking lot on Halloween night,
Observing a pale-face-dark-hair-light-eyed girl,
in a raggedy-gray dress with faded-red-flower-designs.
She was playing with the passenger-side handles of several parked cars,
jumping from a red Toyota, to a blue pickup truck and so on.
Believing she may be in distress he pushed what carts he had gathered over to the damsel.
Ma’am, is everything-okay, he asked.
She turned around and began her long emotionless stare at the cashier’s face,
before advancing on his position, a chill danced around his spine.
What-would-you-do-if-something-happened-to-your-face?
Taken aback, a lump filled his throat when he replied, I-don’t-know.
His feet carried him behind the carts, using them to separate the two,
but she followed and thus began a ring-a-round-the-roses game,
something-happened-to-my-face, she continued callously,
her face looked normal-albeit-pale, it certainly wasn’t malformed in a way he could see.
Do-you-think-I’m-pretty? She asked.
Sure, he replied, turning around to push the carts to the designated cart areas of the parking lot.
His pace was remarkable, powered by a strong sense of anxiety, looking for help.
He kept his face forward, scared that she followed.
Finally spotting a fellow cashier taking a smoke break.
Is-she-still-behind-me? He asked the friendly face.
Who? He turned around and she was gone.

shes-chaos

iLike?

April 2, 2009

So I was cleaning up my desktop today and stumbled upon a file called “Picture 1,” which can only mean one thing. It must be a screen shot. But of what? So I clicked it open and found the following conversation, which I had completely forgotten about. It made my day. 

picture-1

Potty and Cracky

April 1, 2009

Okay so I know I’ve been really distant lately… Not really. But you know what I mean. I’ve got like, finals to start studying for and stuff. And as you probably know, with finals comes procrastination. So I finally got started on my new comic strip!

It’s called Potty and Cracky, and basically centres around several characters that have been adapted from my real life. Potty and Cracky are obviously the main characters, but I’ve created other characters as well, including Eckie, Koky, and Alky, all of whom you will soon meet. Guest characters will also be featured occasionally, so if you have suggestions or anything, feel free to let me know.

For those of you who expect traditional ha-ha humour, just don’t even bother. Because Potty and Cracky is far from traditional. It is silly, random, often R-rated humour that most of the time will not make sense, and you have to have a similar mindset to my own in order to understand the jokes. It’s basically just dumb. But funny. Especially if you’re a college student.

So without further ado, here’s the first episode. Enjoy! Oh yeah and one more thing: I’m not so talented with the whole web comic thing yet, so until I figure out how to do stuff properly, you’re going to have to click on the comic to make it big enough to see without a magnifying glass. I’m ghetto like that. Wee!

pc1

P.S. TEN GOT ACCEPTED INTO BROWN UNIVERSITY!!!!!


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