Posts Tagged ‘lakritz’

News

January 26, 2010

Well okay, not really news per say, but new-ish stuff nonetheless.

As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve decided to revamp the header, changing the previously cutesy picture into a creepy one that’ll probably give you nightmares. Let me know if I succeed.

February is just around the corner! So be expecting my birthday wish list soon.

I just got a phone call from Tatjana at work, saying that a “mysterious parcel” is waiting for me in her office. This means two things. Firstly, the postal service seems to work just fine, so none of you should have a problem getting me the gifts I ask for on the aforementioned wish list. And secondly, I’m going to have a lakritz fest tomorrow, which excites me.

I’m sick again. Not like, SARS sick, but I think some sort of influenza-bronchitis medley. I feel like committing seppuku.

The new semester has officially begun. Again I can only take two subjects due to my hellish work requirements, and those subjects are ECON111 (I’m finally doing micro!) and MARK217, which I reckon is going to be a fairly boring consumer behaviour course. Managing the two should be fairly feasible, because one is kinda mathy and the other’s kinda theory. So I think my brain can cope.

I haven’t been having super exciting dreams recently. On the contrary, they’ve been rather dull and life-like. In yesterday’s dream I got lost in a building for like, an hour. And it wasn’t even a trippy building, it was just a standard boring apartment building. The only thing dreamy about it was that the stairwell went on forever and never actually took me one floor down (hence the reason why I got lost). Eventually I broke through the window and ended up outside Block 3 in the Gardens. So it was alright.

I’m slightly hungry, so I’m going to head over to the kitchen now and see what happens.

Glycyrrhiza Glabra

January 6, 2010

Licorice. It’s the best confectionary in the entire universe and all parallel universes as well. This is not a debatable opinion; it is scientific fact.

Extracted from the root of Glycyrrhiza Glabra, licorice in its rawest form is then combined with the sweet tears of an angel and a drop of unicorn blood to produce the black, salty magic that causes my taste buds to go apeshit. It is so delicious. Words cannot even begin to describe how amazingly delectable black licorice is. It’s like the Ghandi of candy. Because honestly, who doesn’t love Ghandi?

Now that my affection with licorice has been made known, I must clarify something. There are some sick people in this world who have decided to imitate the taste of licorice, mix it with a shit load of sugar and carcinogenic additives, and subsequently sell it in stores under the inappropriate name “licorice.” For example, if you buy black Hershey’s Twizzlers, those are not licorice. If you eat black Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, those are not licorice. If you open a bag of Panda Licorice Soft Chews, those are not licorice. So do not be fooled. Because exactly such cheap imitations of licorice are the ones that are marketed in the U.S. and make people (including myself) projectile vomit because they taste like ass. No seriously. That shit (no pun intended) tastes like it came out of a rectum and was instantaneously packaged and sent to grocery stores.

If you are amongst the few, worthy people who are brave enough to try the real thing, I will now offer a few suggestions. As I’ve mentioned in a comment on a previous post, Venco brand licorice is in my opinion (the only opinion that matters) the best. It is the Sistine Chapel of licorice. The Burj Dubai. The Batman. The God, if you will, of all licorice. Katjes is also a respectable brand, especially Salzige Heringe and Katzen Pfötchen. Haribo is mediocre. But if Haribo is the only thing available, it’ll do.

That having been said, please don’t hesitate to send me large quantities of the aforementioned brands, though preferably the former two. Email me and I’ll give you my shipping details. I expect to see trucks full of salted black licorice outside my house within the coming weeks.

If I don’t, there will be consequences.


%d bloggers like this: