Posts Tagged ‘Ten’

2012 Olympics

August 12, 2012

So basically my TV has been hijacked by the Olympics for the past few weeks, thus forcing me to have watched it during my free time, when I could have instead been watching that Justin Bieber movie or Teletubbies or horror films. Today is thankfully the closing ceremony, so this post is kinda like a tribute to the sports (and not-so-sports) I’ve watched this time around.

Archery. As far as I can remember, archery used to be about a bow, an arrow, and a target. Not arm guards and chest pads and finger straps and tripods and balancers and all that jazz. I didn’t even know what was going on half the time.

Canoe Slalom. So awesome! I never knew they even had this! My favourite part was when Ten thought they were all amputees or leg-less folk, and it was part of the Special Olympics.

Cycling – track. I never really watched this, Adam did. It was too boring for me. They were all just quickly pedaling around a raised oval. I did like the little grandpa referee though, who showed the racers the course for what seemed like an endless number of laps. Because an oval is just too complicated to figure out by oneself.

Diving. My favourite summer Olympic sport! I liked the little Chinese guy. The tiny one. The one who won everything. Wait, I’m not narrowing it down, let me research his name… Ah yes – Qui Bo.

Equestrian – jumping. Those horses were magnificent! I felt happy when they jumped over all those obstacles perfectly! I felt bad for that one horse who got scared at the big fence-in-the-bush and had to walk around it. I didn’t really notice the jockeys or riders or whatever horse-jumpers are called because they all looked the same in their silly little pants-suits.

Fencing. I still have no idea what this sport is about.

Gymnastics – artistic. This is the normal gymnastics. When I say normal, I mean uneven parallel bars, vault, beam, etc. Not that freaky rhythmic circus shit they do with balls and ribbons. Deng Linlin was my highlight! I also cried a little when Russia lost the lead because of that little midget girl falling and then the cocky one falling on her face at the end of their floor routines. Gymnastics is so emotional.

Shooting. I watched this for a few minutes, but then saw how quiet, sad, and dead-faced the sport was and turned it off.

Swimming. I only watched a little, but then when that freaky buck-toothed Lithuanian girl won something and started gnawing on her gold medal, I felt sick and never watched it again.

Synchronised swimming. I don’t know how those people can hold their breath that long and do strong underwater stuff while just treading the whole. fucking. time. Respect.

Taekwondo. Not even a real sport.

Weightlifting . I got all teary-eyed again when that Chinese guy won and that other Chinese guy was injured but still did good and that other Chinese guy dislocated his elbow. At least I think they were all Chinese. Also, the women scared the hell out of me. This one guy chick looked like a handsome man and this other one looked like an ugly overweight man. I saw many moustaches and uni-brows. It was a roller coaster of emotions.

And that was it. The other sports aren’t worthy of mentioning.

Now I’m excited for winter Olympics!

But hopefully I’ll post something before then.



But possibly not.



Sleeping Doodie

May 20, 2011

Okay so I’ve been at my laptop for like, three or four hours, waiting for Ten to wake up. She gets freakishly aggressive in the mornings. Like, her subconscious is obscene and rude and mean.

Anyway, it’s now after ten o’clock and my belly is making that noise that means “put food in me or I’ll acidify your insides,” and I really wanna go for coffee and breakfast and stuff, but I’m scared to wake Ten. I tried earlier and she retorted with a sarcastically mean comment.

So instead, I’ve been drawing outfits. Here’s one of them.

I’ve also been watching YouTube videos and crying openly. No, really. I’m like actually starving.

Oh and WordPress today was all “Your browser is old and shitty! Fix it here!” So I went to download the new one for Leopard, and it’s not working. Boo on Safari.

I’m going to stop writing pointless nonsense now and maybe trigger a fire alarm or something to get my sister out of bed without getting mad at me.

Ten is cray-cray

January 30, 2011

Hahaha, I just found this on my desktop and thought I’d share it with everyone:

Need a translation?

Black: hello! This is Ten’s first time <3

Red: I wish Jerome would drink milk :( I want the best for him. I am a mother. :'(

A real Christmas miracle!

January 4, 2011

Christmas day, 2010. We were getting ready to go to John’s house for a delicious Christmas dinner with him and his family. Ma was taking her sweet-ass time (as usual), so Ten and I decided to go out and take some pictures because we were both really bored. And we looked cute.

Ma still wasn’t ready, so I put my stuff on the sidewalk and Ten put her little purse on the car, and we got like, really into the whole picture-taking thing. Apparently I’m a shitty photographer, so Ten was giving me lessons on how to take the perfect headshot without making someone look like a mutated fetus.

Anyway, eventually Ma came out, so we jumped in the car and sped off because we were running late. John’s house is like, a 25 minute drive from our house, and I had just managed to find the perfect parking space when Ten started freaking out in the backseat. “Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GODDDD!” Ma and I both looked at each other, trying to figure out what was happening.

“Oh my God! Where’s my bag?!”

“Dude, it’s there somewhere, calm down.”

“No, Ona, it’s not here. Oh my God!! Where is it?!”

“Stop freaking out and check under the seat. Jeez. Maybe you left it at home.”

“No, I didn’t leave it at home, I had it with me when we were taki– OH MY GODDD!”


“I left it on the fucking car!”

No jokes, everyone. She left it on the car. And I drove off. And now we were 25 minutes away and an hour late for dinner. So I seized control of the situation and told Ma to get out of the car to stall John and them, and then as quickly as my little wheels could carry us, Ten and I drove back home.

Meanwhile, the entire car ride, the only thing I’m hearing is “Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…” although I was convinced that the purse was still on the ground right outside our driveway, because we have like a kajillion bumpy-ass speed bumps, and there’s no way it could’ve hung on for long. Furthermore, it was beaded (so it lacked any form of friction), and it’s not like it would be stolen, because our community is really cute and safe and all that. If anything, I assumed it had been taken to security at the main gate.

Fast-forward to when we got back home: It’s nowhere to be found. Ten is like, pooping her pants at this point, because the purse contained her local phone and her Blackberry, along with other small trinkets like her favourite chapstick.

We checked the garage, we checked in the bushes, we checked under cars parked nearby, we checked at the main gate and the back gate, we asked the little maintenance guys… Nothing. It was gone. So now Ten is pissed like woah, because not only did she lose her Blackberry, her other phone, both sim cards, and her chapstick, but we were also lank late for John’s dinner. It was a shitty, shitty Christmas disaster.

Having run out of options, I checked the roof of the car. Just in case, you know? And sure enough it wasn’t there either. But I CSI-ed that shit and noticed that the direction of the swipe marks suggested that the purse slipped off while I was taking a right turn. Knowing this didn’t really help, but I felt a little bit cool.

Then Ten was like, “Well, can you like, call my phone? In case it’s nearby and we just can’t see it?” Now I know you’re probably wondering why we didn’t just do that in the first place, but the thing is, 1) When phones get stolen, sim cards are immediately removed so there’s no point in calling, and 2) In case it was on the street still, I didn’t want to call the phone and draw attention to the purse until we got there.

Anyway, I decided it couldn’t hurt, so I called her phone.


“Uh, hello? Did you find this phone in a bag somewhere?”

“Yes! I find and try telling you but you no hearing!”

“Wait, what?”

“Outside mosque! You drive, I see it fall, I signal but you no looking me!”

“Oh okay well, can I come get it?”

“Yes, tomorrow I report duty and I come and then bring.”

“No dude, listen. I’m coming to get it today. Now, in fact. Where are you?”

“Jebel Ali, pass Free Zone, pass new airport, take exit 13, I will waiting!”

For those of you who don’t know, Jebel Ali is in like, the complete opposite direction of where we wanted to go. It’s legit out in the middle of the desert, on the outskirts of Dubai, near the border to Abu fucking Dhabi. But without traffic it’s maybe only a 20 minute drive. Which was okay-ish.

We got in the car and headed out. Meanwhile Ten was still stressing because, “What if he’s lying? What if he switches it off now and we drive there for nothing? What if he returns the phone but already stole my Blackberry? What if he’s made like, a zillion phone calls to his friends and family in India?” I told her to chill out. It’s Christmas. Miracles happen.

We passed the Free Zone, we passed the exit to the new airport, we got to exit 13, and I called the dude back. He answered.

“Helloooo! You coming now?”

“Yeah I just took exit 13, where do I go?”

[The road split.]

“Quickly, do I go right or left?!”

“You go… straight!”

“No dude, listen. The road splits. Right or le– Never mind.”

[I went right.]

“You go straight?”

“No, there was no straight. It was right or left and I went right.”

“Ohh, this no good. You see signal coming?”

“Yeah it’s in front of me now.”

“Okay make U-Turn, come back.”

[There was a “No U-Turn Allowed” sign, but I made one anyway.]

“Okay I made the U-Turn, now what?”

[He said some shit I couldn’t understand.]

“What? Say it again, where do you want me to go? I have like three options in front of me.”

“Okay okay pull to roadside, I will coming you.”

So I pulled over, kinda explained my surroundings, and we waited. Three minutes later he called me back.

“You see this flashing?”

[A mini-bus behind me flashed his brights.]

“Yup, I see it. I’m the blackish car on the side of the road.”

He pulled over in front of me. He got out of the driver’s seat, Ten got out of my car, and they had a little conversation. Meanwhile, the entire bus emptied out to stare at the wondrous spectacle taking place before them. Here’s what apparently happened: I left the main gate of the compound, making a hard right (hurray CSI skills!). The purse fell. How it survived all the speed bumps, I’ll never know. The guy was parked in a minibus next to me, waiting for his staff to come out of the mosque across the street. He saw the slippage of the purse and tried waving his arms and flashing his lights to signal me to stop, but I must’ve ignored it or assumed it wasn’t for me. He picked up the purse and took it with him into the bus, with the intention of returning it tomorrow when they come back for work. I’m not really sure where he wanted to take it, but whatevs. Later, when I called him, was the first and only time he opened the purse. Nothing else was touched (he said) and Ten and I believed him. There were no recent calls in the call log, everything was still in its place, and the Blackberry and chapstick were safe! It truly was a Christmas miracle!

We gave the guy some money, thanked him a million times, and then started our long journey back to John’s for dinner.

Last exam!!

December 29, 2010

Okay okay okay, my last exam is literally a few hours away. So you can calm the hell down; you’ll get your ftWBoO fix soon (why can’t I have a cooler acronym?!).

In the mean time, here’s a picture I once drew about Ten, above a caption that read “She plays guitar so fucking well that she can hypnotise your soul.

Mutations are funny

October 21, 2010

Okay so it’s not an MSN conversation, but whatevs. It’s funny. Basically, Skype wasn’t working, so there was no video, and the sound was very choppy and incomprehensible. We were both breaking up and couldn’t understand each other, so we resorted to Skype chat:

And then later…

Such an epic fail. I love Ten.

Don’t judge me!

October 21, 2010

I know, I know, I know. Before you start throwing shit at me and cursing my name, let me explain the reason for my absence: We moved. Yeah, that’s basically it. We moved house, and it was a long process that disrupted my normal routine. I was also Internet deprived for quite a while. So after suffering from horrible withdrawal symptoms and undergoing weeks of intensive therapy, I fell off the wagon and stand before you today. That’s right, pretend I’m standing at a podium. And you all have bright and eager faces. And a few of you are shedding tears of utter happiness. And maybe a once crying baby suddenly stops and smiles, staring up at me in anticipation.

Anywho, let’s see. What’d you miss… Uhmmm… Yeah basically nothing. Midterms in two weeks. Still unemployed and looking for ways to get money. Watching Discovery Science in the background. Watched So You Think You Can Dance earlier. Oh, I picked up violin classes again! And Ten’s learning guitar! Oh annnnd, Adam finally decided to start blogging as well. I shall ask him if I have permission to post the URL here. But yeah, that’s really it.

Tomorrow we’re having some sort of dorky old-people party. I dunno, Ma’s having like 20 people over. As long as no one talks to me and I can eat a lot of food, I’m happy.

Kay that’s all. My eyes hurt and I’m lazy. And I’m missing my show on Discovery Science. It’s about the Big Bang and some intergalactic cosmology shit. Pretty trippy stuff.

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