Posts Tagged ‘New Year’

New year, new stories, new dress!

January 1, 2011

Okay so this is just a little prequel to the two phenomenal tales you’re about to relive with me. ┬áThe first is a story of a true fucking Christmas miracle that actually happened, and the second is about my shitty/hilarious New Year’s Eve. Warning: Epic awesomeness will ensue.

But first, I’ve decided to change up my outfits for 2011! Instead of the usual purple-striped dress, I’ve decided to go with graphic tees to match my mood:

EDIT: Okay actually, I’ve decided not to write about those stories tonight. I’m sleepy. Entering into a new year will do that to you. So instead, I’m just going to leave you hanging! Oh, and to make it worse/better, I just remembered another story I’m going to tell you! It’s about a tortoise named Agatha. Yes.

ANOTHER EDIT: Don’t cry. I’ll write at least one of these tomorrow (hopefully all). :)


New Year Resolutions

January 2, 2010

I had a mini-conversation with Adam the other day about New Year resolutions. He asked me if I had any, and I told him I don’t believe in them. Firstly because I don’t think one must wait until January to change things about oneself, and secondly because I tried it (once) and I gave up after about January 3rd.

However, seeing as how we’re not only in a new year now, but a new fucking decade, I thought maybe I’d give the whole resolution thing another go. Here’s the list I came up with:

  1. Become more blogative (if that’s a word). I know I’ve been like, a really really horrible blogger, and I say this every time I write a new post, but this time I’m really going to try to write at least one sentence a week. Because I love you all so dearly. And also because I feel like I’m getting dumber by the day, so at least this way I can remember how to formulate grammatically correct sentences and string them together into sensible paragraphs that you probably couldn’t care less about.
  2. Stop hating children. Next month I will be celebrating my twenty-second year of life on this planet (excluding the in-the-womb part), and I think I’m getting to that stage in my life when I need to seriously stop hating kids. Because at the moment I loathe them. I try to torture and/or kill them any chance I get. When a child comes within a hundred meter radius of me, I get a severe burning sensation in my heart. I laugh when they get injured or start crying for no apparent reason. I feel nauseated when they giggle or talk or try to be cute. All these feelings of hatred must slowly come to a stop. So I’m going to try to smile at them and stop referring to them as “it.” And maybe, just maybe, by the end of the year I’ll actually hug or carry one. Mind you I said “maybe.” Twice. And now thrice. So don’t hold your breath.
  3. Learn more languages. I want to be like, octalingual. At least. I’ve already got my Rosetta Stone Arabic CDs going on, and I’ve progressed to the level of being able to say “The white airplane flies” and “The small boy jumps” and “The girl is wearing two red socks and the woman is wearing a purple hat,” but that’s not good enough. I need to be like, fluent enough to rap in Arabic. Other languages I have interest in include Chinese, Russian, and Italian. And of course touching up on my French. Oui oui!
  4. Get annoying parts of my body removed. I know. I could’ve said that in a less weird way, but hey, this is Ona we’re talking about, so de-weirding sentences doesn’t really happen often. But basically my wisdom teeth need to go. So do my tonsils. Perhaps I will keep them in (separate) jars as souvenirs, if the doctors will let me. If not, I’ll fight them for it. And if worse comes to worst, I can just attempt self-surgery.

Kay well that’s it. I’m kinda new to this, so I don’t know if that’s a puny list, or if four resolutions is like, way too much. But whatever. It’s how I roll. There are other things that I want to do as well (such as sky diving, visiting Greenland, and taking over the world), but I think those are less “resolutions” and more “things to do before I die.” So we’ll save that for another list at another point in time.

Happy 2010 to all of you! Feel free to leave comments as to how shit it already is. I’ll laugh empathise.

%d bloggers like this: