Archive for December, 2010

Last exam!!

December 29, 2010

Okay okay okay, my last exam is literally a few hours away. So you can calm the hell down; you’ll get your ftWBoO fix soon (why can’t I have a cooler acronym?!).

In the mean time, here’s a picture I once drew about Ten, above a caption that read “She plays guitar so fucking well that she can hypnotise your soul.

Advertisements

Internet = Procrastination

December 21, 2010

That’s a real mathematical formula, developed by Isaac Newton before the Internet even existed. He used the imaginary number, i, to denote this then-unknown phenomenon, but now we all know it as “Internet.” His initials even form the first two letters of the word! And the latin root ternet literally translates to “a lot of shit accumulated in a weird parallel cyber universe to generate entertainment, knowledge, and communication for the masses.” Yep, all that from just one little root.

As you can see from the above-average amounts of nonsense I’m spitting out today, I am officially crazy. Why? It’s finals season. And with finals comes studying. And with studying comes procrastination. And with procrastination comes cramming. And with cramming comes? Insanity.


Anyway, because I don’t foresee a real blog post being published any time in the near future (i.e. the next couple of days), I’ve decided to leave you with a few worthwhile links I’ve stumbled upon during my procrastination journeys:

This psycho Twi-hard freaks the fuck out and it’s both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

Americans ask really stupid questions.

Why can’t it understand the Scottish accent?

And that’s all you deserve for now. I actually have to get back to studying. Stop distracting me!

P.S. I’m seriously not liking the fact that Sir Newton is overpowering my four little mini-me’s.

12 Things I want for Christmas

December 19, 2010

I don’t really understand this holiday. I mean, I know Jesus is somehow involved, and it has something to do with six geese a-laying and a partridge in a pear tree, but other than that, I don’t really get it.

However, due to the fact that it is apparently an accepted tradition to give presents on this day, I have compiled a list for you! Please be sure to give me everything I ask for. Otherwise heavy consequences will be suffered.

  1. Seven swans a-swimming.
  2. A new phone. Preferably the iPhone 4, but I’ll settle for pretty much anything that works.
  3. My very own secret laboratory, with complementary mazes full of confused little white mice.
  4. X-Ray vision. If this is impossible, X-Ray goggles will suffice.
  5. A gift voucher for MAC because my makeup is getting all old and dodgy, and I no longer have an eyebrow pencil.
  6. More hours in a day. I think between 30 – 40 is a reasonable amount.
  7. An electric violin.
  8. Everything from Ace Hardware, because I feel like building some more shit.
  9. Five bajillion dollars. You can send it directly to my PayPal account.
  10. The power to hypnotise people instantaneously with just one glance.
  11. A fast and powerful motorcycle, so I can give it to Adam asĀ his Christmas present. Then again, if I get wish #9, this item can be crossed off and ignored.
  12. Anything from my 21st and 22nd birthday wish lists that I still haven’t received. Damn you, postal service!

Yep, so that’s pretty much it. Go ahead and email me, and I’ll send you an appropriate address, depending on which gift it is you’re getting me. I mean, the violin can just go to Ma’s P.O. Box, but like, the laboratory needs to be built on-site. So I’ll help you out with those details via email.

You have six days.

Dream Contest!

December 17, 2010

Note: Just because I used the word “contest,” don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re going to win anything. Because you won’t. Except perhaps the feeling of personal victory for being as cracked-out as I am.

I had a dream. And it wasn’t about one day my four little children living in a nation where they won’t be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character. Nay. Definitely not as deep and inspiring as my homeboy Martin’s dream. Rather, it was about ____________ and I’m fairly certain it was based on my recent viewing of the film “_________________.”

“But Ona, we don’t speak in blanks! What does this mean? What was your dream about? We need to know before our minds spontaneously combust!” Well guess what, my friends. That’s why the title of this post includes the word “contest.” I’m gunna show you a couple scenes from my dream, and you get to guess what it was about! Wee, fun times!

And yes, the reason I’m doing this is because I’m actually too lazy to type and draw out the whole thing. I got other shit to do.

So… good luck? Leave your guesses in the comments section in the form “Your dream was about _________, based on the movie ______________.”

Scene 1:

Scene 2:

P.S. I’m not tricking you. These scenes are related. If you need more clues, I might add some. But even more likely, I’ll just laugh maniacally and watch you suffer. Muahahaha!

UPDATE: Okay here are some hints.

1999

Kinda creepyish

My depicted scene about the banquet does not happen in the movie, but the dancing one directly does.

Even more twisted search-stats

December 13, 2010

There are some disturbing individuals out there. Some of these searches are even sicker than the previous search stats I shared with you. Warning: If you are susceptible to projectile vomiting and or vivid nightmares, do not click to enlarge.

Another series of weird dream-happenings

December 12, 2010

I was at some sort of surfing competition thing at the beach and there was a drowning baby. I saved it and it starting purring.

I had to get a medical and when I got my results back, there was some interesting additional information. Apparently, I didn’t have the HIV, but there was an 18% chance of current pregnancy with quadruplets. Also, my “Personality Factor” was a 19, which was considered below normal and in the comments section, the doctor wrote, “Needs help.”

So we had bombs, right? But mine fell apart. :(

I had something on my mind. And some alien douchebag decided to take it out. But then I karate-chopped his face and won the war against terror.

And that was pretty much it. I’m not sure if/how these stories are related, but my brain is just wonderful that way.

Dear Valued Readers,

December 10, 2010

I know many all of you are suffering from hectic withdrawal symptoms due to my lack of recent blogging. The truth of the matter is that I’ve been busy (yet again) and haven’t yet found the time to entertain your poor souls. I’m currently working on this huge paint job for a pediatrics ward at a medical centre, and I’m physically incapable of cranking out eight hours of that and creative blog posts.

But the future is not as bleak as you think! I shall post soon, don’t worry.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a little non-sequitur:

Please bear with me until like, tomorrow, and I’ll be more productive over the following week. Also, join this group on facebook; it’s pretty phenom: MarketingDogHouse

With loving regards of warmingly true sincerities,

Ona

P.S. I get 50 points for the longest letter-close in the history of writing! Whammy!


%d bloggers like this: