Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

What’s this? A miracle, you say?

August 3, 2012

Why yes. Yes it is.

I’m not going to even mention the nine-month time lapse between this post and my last. Even though I just kinda did. But you know what I mean. I SWEAR I’M NOT DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, OKAY?! Twitter is sucking the life out of me and my phone is so smart that my laptop has become obsolete. Hence, the long period of silence.

But anyway, speaking of twitter, let me get straight into my next point: I’m actually tricking you into thinking that this is a real post when in fact, it’s one of my lazy, half-assed attempts to be proactive. Basically, I’m cheating. Because this is yet another¬†predicted tweet¬†post!

“You guys are sick. Please don’t have this eye sickness in the nineties.”

“I wonder if you know I’m actually a vampire. I don’t wanna ruin it for gym tomorrow.”

“I can dream. I can try. But I declare purple as your profession.”

“I get that my hatred runs deep. I wonder why this is true.”

“I wonder why I have no energy left. Am I a day apart?”

“Hahahaha omg I wonder if my face will be in a stabbing spree.”

“I wonder why everyone is fantastic!”

“I wonder what I am. Perpetually.”

“Oh god, the graveyard thing wasn’t you?!”

“Lies. Watch something better. WHY IS THIS BETTER?!”

“I wonder why this sandyness magically disappeared from my shin?”

“I wonder why Penelope treats Amadeus like a delicious free kick.”

“I wonder if my locker smells like pineapples and seaweed today.”

“I’m not cranky! Lies.”

Yup, so that’s it. The drawing thing might happen again soon. So stay tuned!

Twitter Predictions

April 16, 2011

So I found this site that can predict what your next tweet might be, based on your already existing “twitter DNA.” Here are some of my favourite ones that it generated:

“I HAVE COME UP WITH A PLAN! You can like, silhouette yourself even. For me.”

“Cocaine? I haven’t practiced.”

“I need to make pancakes. Might be able to sleep in movies.”

“I keep forgetting about testicles. Watching Bruno now. Yeah, kinda.”

“Need to feed the skin. Need to become even more awesome than pork.”

“Just got back from Adam’s. Learned about twitter. Will let you know.”

“I wonder if I’ll *actually* do it. I need a really, really, really BAD idea.”

“I started over. Whammy!”

“Will let you know when ants crawl on the tortoises. *shakes uncontrollably*”

“Where is my fix? God I hate mosquitos.”

P.S. I know this doesn’t count as a legit post. Will do a proper one a little later.

Boring times call for boring measures

December 2, 2010

Here’s how useless productive my day was:

First, I went to uni. Our lecturer called someone a lambastard, which I interpreted to mean

After a couple Google searches, however, I managed to figure out that the term used was “lambasted,” which means, “beaten with a cane.” I forgot the context, so I can’t really explain why this word was ever be uttered in my Services Marketing class.

Another thing I did today was set up a twitter account! Although I’m not quite sure why. I don’t see the point of having twitter, since you can update your statuses on facebook just as easily. But all the celebrities have twitter, and I’m almost famous, so I felt starting an account was in good order. @onamatopoeia

Let’s see, what else did I get up to? I emailed Chris from Mark Doesn’t Understand Animals because he’s cool and his comics make me giggle. I also fed the tortoises. Oh, and I got the rainbow pinwheel of death like all day today, so tomorrow I’m going to update my external hard drive and delete all kindsa shit from my laptop. I think I only have like 10 GB of space left. Damn you, iPhoto and iTunes!

On a completely unrelated note, here’s a picture of a monkey.

That is all.


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