Archive for August, 2012

2012 Olympics

August 12, 2012

So basically my TV has been hijacked by the Olympics for the past few weeks, thus forcing me to have watched it during my free time, when I could have instead been watching that Justin Bieber movie or Teletubbies or horror films. Today is thankfully the closing ceremony, so this post is kinda like a tribute to the sports (and not-so-sports) I’ve watched this time around.

Archery. As far as I can remember, archery used to be about a bow, an arrow, and a target. Not arm guards and chest pads and finger straps and tripods and balancers and all that jazz. I didn’t even know what was going on half the time.

Canoe Slalom. So awesome! I never knew they even had this! My favourite part was when Ten thought they were all amputees or leg-less folk, and it was part of the Special Olympics.

Cycling – track. I never really watched this, Adam did. It was too boring for me. They were all just quickly pedaling around a raised oval. I did like the little grandpa referee though, who showed the racers the course for what seemed like an endless number of laps. Because an oval is just too complicated to figure out by oneself.

Diving. My favourite summer Olympic sport! I liked the little Chinese guy. The tiny one. The one who won everything. Wait, I’m not narrowing it down, let me research his name… Ah yes – Qui Bo.

Equestrian – jumping. Those horses were magnificent! I felt happy when they jumped over all those obstacles perfectly! I felt bad for that one horse who got scared at the big fence-in-the-bush and had to walk around it. I didn’t really notice the jockeys or riders or whatever horse-jumpers are called because they all looked the same in their silly little pants-suits.

Fencing. I still have no idea what this sport is about.

Gymnastics – artistic. This is the normal gymnastics. When I say normal, I mean uneven parallel bars, vault, beam, etc. Not that freaky rhythmic circus shit they do with balls and ribbons. Deng Linlin was my highlight! I also cried a little when Russia lost the lead because of that little midget girl falling and then the cocky one falling on her face at the end of their floor routines. Gymnastics is so emotional.

Shooting. I watched this for a few minutes, but then saw how quiet, sad, and dead-faced the sport was and turned it off.

Swimming. I only watched a little, but then when that freaky buck-toothed Lithuanian girl won something and started gnawing on her gold medal, I felt sick and never watched it again.

Synchronised swimming. I don’t know how those people can hold their breath that long and do strong underwater stuff while just treading the whole. fucking. time. Respect.

Taekwondo. Not even a real sport.

Weightlifting . I got all teary-eyed again when that Chinese guy won and that other Chinese guy was injured but still did good and that other Chinese guy dislocated his elbow. At least I think they were all Chinese. Also, the women scared the hell out of me. This one guy chick looked like a handsome man and this other one looked like an ugly overweight man. I saw many moustaches and uni-brows. It was a roller coaster of emotions.

And that was it. The other sports aren’t worthy of mentioning.

Now I’m excited for winter Olympics!

But hopefully I’ll post something before then.

Maybe.

Probably.

But possibly not.

Wwwwink!

I FOUND IT!

August 12, 2012

Yesss!! At long last, both my drawing tablet and pen have been found! It’s a miracle!

But now I don’t know what to do with them.

Side note…

August 3, 2012

Uh, just so you guys know, I just read a few pages of this blog and it’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever read. It’s well written, entertaining, and contains some of the best knock-knock jokes the world has ever known. I’m too good to you guys. Really.

Also, I majored in modesty at university, as you can probably tell.

Modesty with a minor in Sarcasm and Awesomeness.

What’s this? A miracle, you say?

August 3, 2012

Why yes. Yes it is.

I’m not going to even mention the nine-month time lapse between this post and my last. Even though I just kinda did. But you know what I mean. I SWEAR I’M NOT DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, OKAY?! Twitter is sucking the life out of me and my phone is so smart that my laptop has become obsolete. Hence, the long period of silence.

But anyway, speaking of twitter, let me get straight into my next point: I’m actually tricking you into thinking that this is a real post when in fact, it’s one of my lazy, half-assed attempts to be proactive. Basically, I’m cheating. Because this is yet another predicted tweet post!

“You guys are sick. Please don’t have this eye sickness in the nineties.”

“I wonder if you know I’m actually a vampire. I don’t wanna ruin it for gym tomorrow.”

“I can dream. I can try. But I declare purple as your profession.”

“I get that my hatred runs deep. I wonder why this is true.”

“I wonder why I have no energy left. Am I a day apart?”

“Hahahaha omg I wonder if my face will be in a stabbing spree.”

“I wonder why everyone is fantastic!”

“I wonder what I am. Perpetually.”

“Oh god, the graveyard thing wasn’t you?!”

“Lies. Watch something better. WHY IS THIS BETTER?!”

“I wonder why this sandyness magically disappeared from my shin?”

“I wonder why Penelope treats Amadeus like a delicious free kick.”

“I wonder if my locker smells like pineapples and seaweed today.”

“I’m not cranky! Lies.”

Yup, so that’s it. The drawing thing might happen again soon. So stay tuned!


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