Posts Tagged ‘Ace Hardware’

12 Things I want for Christmas

December 19, 2010

I don’t really understand this holiday. I mean, I know Jesus is somehow involved, and it has something to do with six geese a-laying and a partridge in a pear tree, but other than that, I don’t really get it.

However, due to the fact that it is apparently an accepted tradition to give presents on this day, I have compiled a list for you! Please be sure to give me everything I ask for. Otherwise heavy consequences will be suffered.

  1. Seven swans a-swimming.
  2. A new phone. Preferably the iPhone 4, but I’ll settle for pretty much anything that works.
  3. My very own secret laboratory, with complementary mazes full of confused little white mice.
  4. X-Ray vision. If this is impossible, X-Ray goggles will suffice.
  5. A gift voucher for MAC because my makeup is getting all old and dodgy, and I no longer have an eyebrow pencil.
  6. More hours in a day. I think between 30 – 40 is a reasonable amount.
  7. An electric violin.
  8. Everything from Ace Hardware, because I feel like building some more shit.
  9. Five bajillion dollars. You can send it directly to my PayPal account.
  10. The power to hypnotise people instantaneously with just one glance.
  11. A fast and powerful motorcycle, so I can give it to Adam asĀ his Christmas present. Then again, if I get wish #9, this item can be crossed off and ignored.
  12. Anything from my 21st and 22nd birthday wish lists that I still haven’t received. Damn you, postal service!

Yep, so that’s pretty much it. Go ahead and email me, and I’ll send you an appropriate address, depending on which gift it is you’re getting me. I mean, the violin can just go to Ma’s P.O. Box, but like, the laboratory needs to be built on-site. So I’ll help you out with those details via email.

You have six days.

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