Landed

Okay so usually at this point of any trip, I write a long, detailed post about how shitty/awesome the flying experience was. This time, however, I’ll just share the main highlights.

The DXB-AMS flight was practically empty. So I stretched out and slept a lot. Also, I watched Social Network.

The Amsterdam security guy who determines whether or not you’re a terrorist and either allows you through the gate or sends you to jail was all, “Do you have any electronics?” I was like, “Yeah, a lot.” So he asked me to unpack them and put them in individual boxes. I had one for my camera, one for my laptop, one for my hard drive, one for my drawing tablet, one for my phone, one for my iPod, and one for the three damaged cables I’m taking with me to “get replaced for free” (as my delusional mother believes). The security guy then concluded that if I was a terrorist/bomber, he probably wouldn’t want to mess with me, because I had ten potential bombs in my carry-on.

After the bombing incident, I had to go through a scary x-ray machine thing. I pretended I had a pace maker and was seizing (because I thought it would be funny), but they took me seriously. It was really awkward to explain that I was joking, and I could tell they were judging me. One security lady was all “She’s got a fucked up sense of humour” in Dutch. She could have said “Someone get me a bagel before I pass out” because honestly, I don’t speak Dutch. But I’m pretty sure she said the former.

On the AMS-BOS flight (which was the dodgiest Delta flight ever) none of the cabin crew were younger than forty. Also, one of the screens in the aisle was displaying the movie upside down, and when I pointed this out to the grandfather of stewards, he was like, “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. I mean, this plane was built in 1937…” And I was like, “WHAT?!” I wasn’t sure if he was serious or joking, so to calm my nerves, I went to sleep.

I played with a drug-sniffing dog at Logan Int’l Airport. Then his owner (a mean security lady) came over and got mad at me.

And that’s it! We got home, did stuff, and by eleven I passed out. Then I woke up at four in the morning (ah, jet-lag) and just kinda sat around for three hours before I came up with the genius idea of doing stuff on my laptop, which is why I’m blogging now.

So, yeah. I’ll write more as it happens. Also, get ready for loads of pictures. I suggest checking facebook periodically.

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6 Responses to “Landed”

  1. Mohammed Says:

    I thought they were supposed to stop using the same plane after a certain period. Lame.

  2. Pelzina's relative Says:

    I you don’t exchange those broken cables into functional, crispy new ones, I can assure you that your delusional mother will act out all her bipolar and manic fantasies and… HURT YOU REALLY BAD. Yes, I am very, very sure of that…

  3. Elise Says:

    ONA! call me. that is all. thank you. (i messaged you my number on fb)

  4. lostinamirage Says:

    Omg you went through a body scanner? It makes me so mad to hear that they have them at all the European airports! So I’ll guess I’ll never be able to travel again, unless I get a private jet. I’m so sick of all the post-9/11 paranoia, ugh!

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