12 Things I want for Christmas

I don’t really understand this holiday. I mean, I know Jesus is somehow involved, and it has something to do with six geese a-laying and a partridge in a pear tree, but other than that, I don’t really get it.

However, due to the fact that it is apparently an accepted tradition to give presents on this day, I have compiled a list for you! Please be sure to give me everything I ask for. Otherwise heavy consequences will be suffered.

  1. Seven swans a-swimming.
  2. A new phone. Preferably the iPhone 4, but I’ll settle for pretty much anything that works.
  3. My very own secret laboratory, with complementary mazes full of confused little white mice.
  4. X-Ray vision. If this is impossible, X-Ray goggles will suffice.
  5. A gift voucher for MAC because my makeup is getting all old and dodgy, and I no longer have an eyebrow pencil.
  6. More hours in a day. I think between 30 – 40 is a reasonable amount.
  7. An electric violin.
  8. Everything from Ace Hardware, because I feel like building some more shit.
  9. Five bajillion dollars. You can send it directly to my PayPal account.
  10. The power to hypnotise people instantaneously with just one glance.
  11. A fast and powerful motorcycle, so I can give it to Adam as his Christmas present. Then again, if I get wish #9, this item can be crossed off and ignored.
  12. Anything from my 21st and 22nd birthday wish lists that I still haven’t received. Damn you, postal service!

Yep, so that’s pretty much it. Go ahead and email me, and I’ll send you an appropriate address, depending on which gift it is you’re getting me. I mean, the violin can just go to Ma’s P.O. Box, but like, the laboratory needs to be built on-site. So I’ll help you out with those details via email.

You have six days.


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13 Responses to “12 Things I want for Christmas”

  1. Pelzina's relative Says:

    Is there a reason why your mouth is always asymmetrical??? Is that due to anger or just a basic disappointment in the universe as a whole???

  2. Aaisha Says:

    I LOVE Christmas!!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year. ;)
    It doesn’t have any religious significance for me since I’m not religious, I just love the commercialized aspect of it like the relaxing decorations, the music, the lights and the festivity. I want Christmas all year long! :P
    I think the holiday season is definitely a secular holiday. And the celebrations have some origins in paganism.
    Anyway, I shall see what I can send you from that list, hohoho!

  3. inurbase Says:

    I dislike the commercialism of Christmas as well as the inability of individuals of Christians who attempt to make it a religious holiday to actually practice what they preach (more on that in an upcoming blog post). I’m a big fan of the “tick-tock bitches” picture.

    • onamatopoeia Says:

      Eager to read your post! And thanks for liking my tick-tock picture, but it’s not a joke or anything. I’m serious. Shall I send you my mailing address now? Or do you still need some time to think… :P

  4. inurbase Says:

    I accept mailing addresses but I’ve done the whole shipping items internationally thing before (fucking long distance relationships), and I can’t imagine an electric violin would be cheaper to ship than a 3 ounce t-shirt.

  5. Biological D. Says:

    unfortunately, i don´t do money-transfers online, but i´ll put some money in your sparschwein, and if you´re in the area, feel free to pick it up…! ;-)
    i wish you a merry x-mas and a happy new year! may all your dreams come true.
    (only the ones you want, and not the nightmares)
    lots of love
    papa ro

  6. Biological D. Says:

    yeah! thanx…! you´re the best!

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